"Just the technical smile "

"Daadi ... Why don't you take someone with you ... When you come to hospital?? " I  asked my 62 years old patient during her dental treatment !!
"My son comes with me beta. " she replied
"Then ..do ask him to sit here outside the clinic.. So that I can tell him about your treatment.. "
" He is undergoing his chemotherapy .. He'll be here by 2 pm .." She sighed !!
"Chemotherapy??" my ears couldn't accept what my patient had  just said ...
Is her son ...really  A cancer patient ?? Nevertheless .. I couldn't react over there as they say that People find hope  in the eyes of a doctor !!

"Daadi..Why do you take him when he is on chemo... ??He should take rest after his treatment .  There should be someone to take care of you both.. !! Next time.. there should be a third person too for both of you  ... And let your son take rest at home if it is not his chemo day...he needs optimal rest !! " I completed my lecture in one breath !!
"But beta .. There is no one in the family who can come with me but he...my grandquitedren go to their respective schools and my daughter-in-law does all the work at home ...and as he got stucked with cancer ..he doesn't earn anymore ... We are too poor to afford visits for our individual treatment from our village  .. So Please beta do call me for my treatment on his chemotherapy  days , so that we can save some money from the travel expense.. " She requested  !!
Taking  the wrong instrument out of the tray, I thought .."How difficult this life is for some people .. Why doesn't  god give an average happy life to all his children !!
Why did he make sufferings ??  "

I lost a bit of  efficiency in treatment  ... As my heart hindered my brain !! So, the call of the hour was to control my emotions !! 
Later that day I planned my work  according to what she had requested ... I dialed the phone number written on the top of the patient record form   ... And asked her son about the details of his  chemotherapy days !!
And accordingly ... I proceeded her treatment .

One day ... She didn't come to hospital!! I wanted to shout at her for I had  missed my lectures just for her treatment !! But then, I had to know the reason... Why did she betray me when I was working according to what she asked  !! 
After two days .. When she came ...I asked her for the reason why she didn't come two days  back but she didn't say anything .!!  While lying on the dental chair she said "Beta ... Today I will give you my grandson's number ... He will inform me when I have to come to hospital !! "
 
I was paused  for a moment ... I guess I understood quickly what she meant !!
Her son had not conveyed my message .... He had come for his own treatment two days back.. And didn't tell daadi about it !!
I thought of asking her why he did this ...but It could have been  similar to salting a wound !! So I kept quiet !!
After few minutes ... She said " It took 65 thousand rupees in his cancer  chemotherapy treatment ... And I gave all I had !! And now that i have empty box of money ... My son &  daughter-in-law denied spending  their single rupee on me !!
"But daadi... As per your BPL card , you don't have to pay a single rupee for your dental treatment !! " I corrected her
"Yes beta ..but they are not even willing to take over my traveling expense from village !! It takes 80 rupees  of the day .. When I come here... So ,my son stopped  taking me here so that .. Whatever money I'm left with... I spend it on my traveling !! " She said with watery eyes !!
It was something more beyond my heart could hold !! But still I kept quiet .. !!
She continued ... " however I will manage money from somewhere...  but I just want my son to leave smoking and drinking or else he will die Someday  !! He yells when i stop him !! I pray for his well being ... He is everything I have !! Beta he is my only son "

Her eyes ... My lord .. "Mother's eyes " !!!Which clay did you use lord when  you made mothers ??
Those eyes left me feeling shaky as some invisible forces tore me apart ....!! I wanted to burst out.. I wanted to call her son and say I don't know what !! I was on my nerves ...!! I signed  her slip while  dispersing  her ... And went straight back to the vacant chair in the reading room.. !!
I felt numb ... I exactly couldn't figure out .. What kind of emotions were those but it was something between wanting to cry and wanting to slap the hardest !!
How someone can smoke and drink himself to another dimension of death .
How the level of avariciousness make a person abandon the one who gave life , the one who gave meaning to purest form of selfless love , the one who believes you , the one for whom you are the whole world and the only one who felt your heartbeat !! I calmed myself ... thinking what I could do... ?? 
She doesn't have money  to travel ... But I myself earn nothing !! And even if I  provide her a part of my pocket money ...it won't help her in long term and definitely.. that is not the solution to her pain  !!
I wanted to reduce the pain in those eyes I witnessed but I couldn't make her son value her !! Why will he even listen to what his mother's doctor has to say about their family matter !! 
But I could have  consoled her atleast !! But will my consolation help in reducing the pain life caused her ?
The answer was 'No' !! 
After a cat fight in my head ... I eventually  swallowed the fact that no matter how hard I think ,  how deep my concern is ... Being a dental student  , the only thing I can provide her with is  technical smile !! Marking my words again ...
"Only The Technical Smile"

And She grew up to be his Shadow !!

⚡The girl who ran to her  father every time she got ill .. Now prescribes him medicines  for his illness  over phone !!
⚡ The girl ... Who cried for a new dress to her father on every  festival a month before , Now brings  him a new dress on every festival  when she comes home from hostel !!
⚡ The girl who   asked for a pastry every time her father went to a shop , now shouts at him for eating extra sweets !!
⚡ The girl who always waited for her father to come from office with her  lacrimal glands prepared to shed  extra tears  so that she can cry loudly  for what happened to her , Now hides her tears at the station when her father comes to see her off !!
⚡ The girl who always  feared getting lost during train journey and always clenched her father's hand tightly till they reached their destination , Now reminds him to keep his ID card and about his seat no. Before he leaves for any journey !!
⚡The girl who stole money from her father's pant twice ... . now thinks twice before asking for extra money for her shopping  stuffs !!

⚡The girl who always complained about outings because her father hardly took them to new places ... Now has a desire to make him see  all the beautiful places of the world when she starts earning !!

⚡The girl who looked at her father whenever the doctor asked about her problem ... Now goes for counseling with  doctors for her father's problem.. !!

⚡The girl who once counted the number of years  after which she can be with her future man... Now counts the number of years left for her to be exclusively Papa's girl.. !!

Sitting on the rooftop of her hostel.. ..Today she wondered ...  How much strength does a father need to take his children from one phase where they are nothing but a packet of "irritating psycho" to a phase where they are his Shadow ?

But then ... Once again an over expressive girl will fail to express her love to her father !!
May be.. She will not show  this written token of love to him !!

Don't set her 'TYPE' !!

⚡She loves bollywood retro songs  where madhubala's eyes were enough to express the pain and equally loves listening to  Edward Christopher Sheeran singing POP songs with his own guitar accompaniment !! So people , don't set her 'TYPE' !!

⚡ She loves hot Italian  lasagna layered with fresh vegetables and  topped with molten cheese  with a bread  and  dies equally for home made  rice mixed with curd !! So people , Don't set her "TYPE " !!

⚡She scrolls  down all the clubwear ...be it  skater dresses , pop over dresses, lace up detail dresses ...  before her party day ... And equally she loves wearing  the  lace-bordered patiala suit with the embroidered dupatta on festivals !! So people , Don't set her 'Type'

⚡ She prays to goddess durga  on her regular visit to those ancient  temples .. And you'll find her partying with her friends at the  royal pubs  located  in the middle of the city !! So people, don't set her 'TYPE' !!

⚡She talks all night with her best friend  as if her vocal cords have got boosted by a  tonic and they find her the most silent creature on some hot issues !! So people, don't set her 'TYPE' !!

⚡She  burns night oils for she has long way to go in her career.. And also sleeps in some important lectures for which she pays !!  So people ,don't set her 'TYPE'

⚡She wants to be an independent diva where she owns herself and equally needs a shoulder to lean on ..!! So people ,don't set her 'TYPE' !!

⚡She wants to work for hours and achieve a peak in her profession and equally would love to greet her husband with a coffee when he comes back from office !! So people , don't set her 'TYPE'

Is it a justice not seeing  both  sides of the coin and decide its value  ?? 
We categorize every girl in different 'TYPES' or in other words we judge them simply !!
Dear people,

Every  'She' holds the whole universe inside her..
And ....
Every 'She' loves the way she is ....!!

So let's just let them be the way they are !! !! ❤❤❤